Summer is not a summer in Flagstaff...

I just feel that,
I am under depress.
It is summer break after few months crazy and non-stop practicing in school.
But right now, its suddenly nothing to do.
Even though I need to go to work too.
Feeling lost still.
I have insomnia couple days ago.
Nothing I can deal with it.
Just keep watching TV talk shows, drama such as Glee...until morning five o'clock.
And how about then?
Keep sleeping until evening, until I found it had been sunset.
What's going on with me?
Probably I met the bottle neck.
I wanna go to practice my piano, but I didn't know what should I need to play for.
Everybody seems get ideas to play in next semester, except me.
Everybody has their goal, like somebody wanna play for the concerto competition,somebody had decided their repertoires of their junior and senior recital.
But how about me?
You know what,
I just need some guidelines..
I feel like it is not the time to play for competition.
It is not the time to play Liszt...
It was sucking to face those problems...
Sigh~
I just wanna find something to do in this summer.
Not just relaxing.
I need more improvements.
Yea, I just wanna yell out!!!

Just Wanna Write a Bit

my dearest pei babe is not ok...
i can feel it!!!
it is the emo i had been tried before...
DAMN FUCK!!!
after read her story from my s6 forum,
i wanna write my story too!!!
hahasss...


yea,
my babe recently was super emo...
i knew what had been troubled her,
yea,
some kind you never know if you had never been.
but,
i know the feeling cuz i had been,
and it had made me depressed almost 3 months long!!!
SHIT!!!!
pei,
i don't know how to comfort you and i won't do that,
cuz i know you are fed up with this kind of words...
babe,
you always have my mental support,
of course include my parents too!!!
come on!!!! cheer up!!!


oh yea!!!
i had came back from KL a week,
and i had spent almost RM800 in this short journey...
no eye see ==''
of course you will say, hey, you were so wealthy, spent lavishly huh~~
but actually i was really unwilling to spend these money
you never know how hard i earn the money...
i felt guilty after i bought each clothes, shoes, even taxi fees...
sigh~~~
yea,
actually i felt great too that finally i can shopping, gossiped with pei these days...

it had been long long time ago we did like that...
and finally i saw her little niece, enen,
she is super cute!!!
of course she is also hyperactive as pei described...
and in these few days,
i had fall in love with KL!!!!
WOW!!!

KL is an amazing place which is nicer than JB,
you will totally agree with me if you have been there before,
the peoples there are polite and high education,
it is also a city full of art,
you can see lots of busker(street performer) in every public places in evening or night!!!

the night in KL is damn wonderful!!!
and if compare with S'pore or JB,
i wish i could stay in KL after i graduate from US.
hahasss...

and i need to clarify that i not purposely went to shopping there,

i was going there for my visa interview,

and of course i had succeed to get my visa or i wouldn't have any mood to shop at there..

It was a rare opportunity visited to KL,

so its sure to catch up with my agua friends there!!!

Thanks qiming, bert, shixian and kutu spent their whole day with me and brought me here and there!!! 

enhm...
now i want to announce that I want go to US soon!!!
and it will be the first time i celebrate my first white christmas there!!!!
yeah yeah yeah ^^y

I feel so happy and excited now!!!

no doubt,
i am going to continue my study there,
Arizona Flagstaff, the place i will stay for 4 years,
a fascinating and beautiful place!!!
do you know Grand Canyon??
yup!!!
it is so near from my Uni...
so on, if you are missing me, come to visit me and travel here!!!
i will be your best tour guide =)
hahaha...

and my dearest mummy, she is really reluctant to let me leave...

me too...

actually i can't bear to part with my family members too =('

it is the first time i leave home alone,

i don't know how to describe my feeling now...

excited?? fearless??

but it is also a chance to let me growing up!!

i think, i will be smart and independent after a long period struggle at outside...

hahahasss...

And one more~

11-12-2010 will be my last birthday in m'sia of these years!!!

of course it is no doubt, 

i will celebrate with my mum again whose birthday is just 1 day before mine =)
and on 11-12-2010 (my birthday)

it is the last day i teaching at Twelve Notes,

it sure has a celebration with my teacher and colleagues...

i'm sure i will miss them and my naughty students as well =(

and on 12-12-2010,

there will be another celebration with my dearest agua friends!!!

it will be a memorable birthday party but the farewell party too!!!

thanks to blacker, dirtyue, hongzai, pei darling, ino, beng and hanhan...

i know you guys have confirmed to come to celebrate my birthday before i depart to US...

love you guys!!!

Last,

i want to wish you all luck!!!

see you guys in 2012 CNY if my dearest mummy wanna sponsor me back...
hahasss...

Vincent van Gogh

Starry Night

Starry, starry night.
Paint your palette blue and grey,
Look out on a summer's day,
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills,
Sketch the trees and the daffodils,
Catch the breeze and the winter chills,
In colors on the snowy linen land.

Starry Night Over The Rhone

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now.

 

Dr. Paul Gachet

Starry, starry night.
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze,
Swirling clouds in violet haze,
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue.
Colors changing hue, morning field of amber grain,
Weathered faces lined in pain,
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

Almond Blossoms

Now I understand what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they did not know how.
Perhaps they'll listen now. 

Sunflowers

For they could not love you,
But still your love was true.
And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry, starry night,
You took your life, as lovers often do.
But I could have told you, Vincent,
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you.

The Cafe Terrace

Starry, starry night.
Portraits hung in empty halls,
Frameless head on nameless walls,
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the strangers that you've met,
The ragged men in the ragged clothes,
The silver thorn of bloody rose,
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

Van Gogh self portrait

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,
How you suffered for your sanity,
How you tried to set them free.
They would not listen, they're not listening still.
Perhaps they never will...

Wheatfield With Crows

Frustrated

In your eyes,
I can't see myself...
Can you tell me," Who am I?"
I'm lost...
Am I seems like a person who doesn't have her dreams?

Yea, 
I am, I yelled!!!
I wanna be a dream catcher;
Just for my own, not sake for others.

Suddenly,
i miss the moment in my high school...
I knew, it had passed;
I knew, it just a memory;
Yes, all of that, I've known it...
There were the days I'd never forget it.
Fine, fine, fine~
forget it!!!
I know that people can't always live in the past,
So on,
Forget it!!!
I'm going out of my mind=('


Hahass...
Lets talk some happy things...*whee whee...*
Recently,
I was addicted by One Republic!!!
whee  ^ ^y
They are awesome!!!!
LOVE THEM... *clap clap...*

Is them!!!! They are so talented~
Sometimes I wonder, how many instruments they know to play?? Cello, keyboard, guitar, bass...
OMG!!!
They make me crazy!!!

*Stop and stare
  You start to wonder why you're here not  there
  And you'd give anything to get what's fair
  But fair ain't what you really need
  Oh, can you see what I see *

........Stop and Stare......

Life is COMPLICATED

Hihi,

it has been a long period I didn't update my blog...

Thereby, I'm coming to write something here.

It was a moody day ><"

Sigh~~

My mind was filled by those messy things!!!

Issh!!!!  

Hate it, hate it!!!

How come I said like that??

uh huh...

You will never know it!!

Have you been heard it?

FUTERE =/= DREAM

If you were me, which would you choose??

and...another tricky question here,

FAMILIES & FUTURE

Which are more important??

Confuse, right??

Hard to answer it, right??

Yea, can you feel my feeling now??

Life is complicated...

That's my mind.

I was standing on a T-junction,

Should I turn RIGHT or turn LEFT??

I keep asking myself,

"Hey, where did you wanna go??

You need to do a decision, right now~"

"Argh~~~~"

I yelled!!!

"Chill out, what you yelling for?

Lay back, it's all been done before

And if, you could only let it be"

Why'd I have to go and make things so complicated?

I see the way I'm acting like I'm somebody else

Gets me frustrated...

Sigh again,

I admitted,

Yea, I always act like a FOOL!!!

Struggling!!

GOD,

if you have heard me,

please~~

guide me...

Life is complicated.  Life still keep going on.

Especially for YOU @lL

I LOVE MY AGUAS....


YuPpp!!!  That's the feeling in my inner, my heart & my mind.


What is AGUAss??
AguaSS means my sworn followers from S6
who always make me laugh, make me touch...
They are marvelous!!!
Thereby, they will always be my Super VIPsss now & future.


Who are them?
woots~~
They are a tribes of people who are in super pattern & unique character...
like,

Babe peipei, my sweetheart, with a super big face that she super hates it much~but she is so adorable in her action, her speech & who has the highest marketing price among us! Wooshss~

Darling feifei, she is my lover, my sweetie who has a gorgeous eyes, a sweet smile but always act as mad as a March hare, hahaha... but she is the one warm my heart so much!!!

Sohai ming, a lapsap+fei3 woo2,  with a recommended specialty of his sausage big mouth & dull eyes, who always make us become lunatic even though he was doing nothing...

Blacker, our super dancer but also my TRIPLE & shopping kaki as well~ she is black even though she desires a fairly skin!!! And is always itch to patho ing or marry off!!!

Dirtyue, my TRIPLE too~who has multi-identity in many working areas. I called him dirtyue not because of his skin color but of his dirty think in fact!!! hahas...

Bone, veritable as his nick name, he just the bone left!!! He is thin as a paper and has became over confidence of his humour after back from Taiwan == Blek =P

Hongzai, the hiao-est guy of us!!! he is my darling feifei's secret lover, a steady man with a definite view which conflit with his 38 pattern as well.

Big head beng, the big brother of us who is good in cooking and is the super earning money machine!!! He is also the hiao est & actest among us.

 Yunyun deardear, my super lover & my 1st hubby as well. He is the madness of us and a drunker too~Even though he is one of ours high ka, but is always gentle & sensitive..but i love him so much!!!

Gary dada, one of my lovers, my 2nd hubby & a drunker too! He is handsome but short, but I don't mind, hehe...He is smart, gentlemen & a bosom friend ~Love him =)

 Jifu honey, my lover & 3rd hubby. He is the cutiest among my hubbies! He is smart & mature than our expectation and gentlemen as well~ Love him too!!

Elect ming, an amateur of PC & animation. He is shy but warmhearted and is easily become anxious. Haha.. and he is my secret lover too!!!














Here are my lovely VIPs and hey are awesome as I described!!! LOVE ^ ^

Keep Fighting

Woots!!!!

Just had finished my friend, Dawei's recital on 1/8...Hooops~~ one of the burden on my shoulder had been released. It can be said a warming recital that full with family ship & friendship.

Ms Hau was introducing the programme of the concert

Dawei was playing Bach as our opening show.

See!!! Dawei was sooo appreciated to wear the heels!!! OMG ==

The black & white

Was taking picture before the recital started

The audiences

The audiences

But for me, it was a worse day!!! It was so conflict that I was enjoyed it too. Sigh~
I feel guilty and shamed to face Dawei and Ms Hau cuz.... I've fail and I've spoilt the recital  =('

Feeling bad, not just because the failure on the recital but heard a bad news as well ....

 Last week, I was got the news from facebook that Mr Tan, once of the teacher who had been my class teacher when I was in JM1(8) in Foon Yew was suffering the brain cancer. Feel sadness and don't know what should I do. But the only and direct way is doing donation to my teacher. I pray to God to bless my teacher can come over of this hard fighting. Amen...

By the case, this had made me recalled one of my friend, Marion, who had suffered by the cancer as well and was passed away after the CNY.  Marion, how are you on the heaven?? I miss you and do you miss us too?? I hope there are the happiness surrounding you now...

Your last performance

That was the last time I heard your sound

 Sometimes, I feel that there are too many things unfair in this world... WHY??? Why the fact always as similar as the drama, the bad people are always living well in the world but the kind always deserve into the unfortunate?? Is it the DESTINY?? But WHY??? I think I will never understand it....

I wanna be as strong as I can. Keep fighting with my destiny, my life. The next one will be the Toefl exam which set on this coming Saturday, even though I am not with confidence, but I will try my best...

Yup~ Keep fighting....